Self-Esteem: What is it?

Self-esteem is the total of one's self-confidence, self-worth and self-respect. Webster's dictionary defines it as simply a "A confidence and satisfaction in oneself." However one chooses to define it, the fundamental nature of self-esteem is based on understanding, accepting and liking yourself.

Self-esteem means feeling good about your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and desires. High self-esteem is important because it provides a foundation for you to deal with life's many challenges. Improving your self-esteem can give you the confidence, strength, and resiliency to face and overcome many obstacles.

Self-esteem and the African American Woman

African American women have a rich legacy of being spiritually strong, energetic, enterprising and self-reliant women who have successfully overcome many obstacles to make invaluable contributions to the betterment of humanity. As African Americans, we can be proud that our history is rich with examples of strong and supportive mothers, grandmothers, and wives who have continuously displayed great courage and determination in many aspects of life.

Despite this history, it is important to realize that there are times in many women's lives when their confidence is shaken and their self-esteem is low. Low self-esteem can cause you to have poor and dysfunctional relationships, can lead to depression and can create in your mind a very bleak and negative outlook on life.

A variety of factors can contribute to low self-esteem, including (but certainly not limited to) poor relationships with parents or siblings, being the victim of a physically, sexually, or mentally abusive relationship, or experiencing racist or discriminatory practices in your personal or professional life. No matter what the reason, don't ever give up hope because your self-esteem can always be improved. You will be pleasantly amazed when you see how improved self-esteem can change your life!

How to Improve Your Self-Esteem

There have been and are many outstanding African American women who love and believe in themselves unconditionally. It is important to remember that high self-esteem evolves from viewing yourself as a unique, valuable, and worthwhile person, and is not dependent on how other people view you. You are your greatest asset and can start improving upon your self-esteem today by:

· Believing in yourself.
· Letting go of past hurts and forgiving others.
· Loving and accepting yourself unconditionally.
· Believing in your dreams and persisting to make your dreams become reality.
· Planning and setting attainable goals in life.
· Meditating and spending a few quiet moments by yourself each day.
· Visualize: See yourself achieving and prospering in life.
· Talk to yourself each day: Internalize positive affirmations that help you believe in yourself.
· Exercise at least three days each week.
· Pray daily.

Dr. Mary Mcleod Bethune, a great African American woman in our history, left the following message to Black people everywhere in her will:

I leave you love.
I leave you hope.
I leave you dignity.

She embodied and lived a life of high self-esteem. So can you!

Rev. Arly Pryor
San Jose, CA