The fastest way to destroy the self-esteem and character in a child is to direct malicious verbal words at that child's abilities and accomplishments. When it comes from a peer or anyone else outside the home it can be tolerated more because there is no permanent bond to the attacker. But when verbal abuse comes from a loved one such as a parent or other sibling on a daily basis, it hurts deeply and causes hostility to build within.

When your son or daughter does not make the bed correctly or fast enough, or when they fail to clean the dishes as they wash them, or bring home higher grades than you did when you were in school, calling that child stupid, lazy, dumb, or incompetent will never get positive results from that child. Even worst, cursing at children will surely birth a cursing child, and when the teacher calls your job complaining that Jimmy has cursed her and his classmates out, there is no need to punish the child; punish yourself.

Many parents take their frustrations out on their children unconsciously. If something has troubled a person and their own self-esteem have been hurt, many people turn to another, usually a weaker vessel to relieve them of the pain. Most of the time only a higher authority can do severe damage to one's personal esteem or character because most people disregard the words of someone they consider below their levels of accomplishment. This is why the authority of a parent can do much damage to a child.

The authority of a parent is a valuable one that must be used for positive development and not negative. Just because you are a parent does not mean you have the right to continually verbally and psychologically abuse your child. If you find yourself calling your child names or cursing at them through your own frustration, there is most certainly something in your life that has you under extreme stress. A daily evaluation of your surroundings and activities that may cause you stress should be done to avoid problems in the home.

Past experiences not confronted from your life could surface at a time during child rearing. Many memories of childhood usually surface when parents raise children of their own, which could sometimes bring pinned up feelings of anger or depression. This, in turn, results in the verbal, psychological, and sometimes physical abuse of a child.

Many people can confess that they were never physically abused as a child but many cannot say they were not verbally or psychologically abused. Some do not even realized they were abused in that manner during their childhood. People with bad attitudes, emotional swings, and negative views toward life in general would signal the act of past verbal and psychological abuse.

Counseling is not necessarily an antidote to healing the abused mind. A positive relationship could counter this type emotional disturbance in a person's life better than an informal relationship with a total stranger. A good marriage or friendship would help a person to learn to trust, feel good about themselves, and to pass that support down to their children.

© 2003 by AfroStaff