Everything that means anything in the structure and operation of the current society is stressed as being "for our children." Society needs to clean the environment "for the children." Social Security should be saved "for our children." We need to protect our freedoms in America "for our children," and the list goes on endlessly.

The fact is, we have become a society pathologically over-protective of "our children" when at one time there were no such things as bicycle helmets, seatbelt laws, child care seats, child-proof aspirin or safe sex. Every aspect of life before the 1970s was basically a haven for deathtrap if compared to today's "for our children" rage.

Thinking back during the days of elementary school, not many children were neglected at home and the majority had fathers and mothers who attended parent-teacher conferences. There may have been one kid who smelled like pee in class and every now and then, someone would come to school without combing their hair or brushing their teeth, but it was no big thing and usually drew nothing more than elementary teasing.

Today, however, lawsuits fly if something is said out of line to a child about their personal habits, hygiene, or dress preferences. Children have more rights today and they are knowledgeable as to how to use those rights. And because society has advanced to a point of child independency, this move away from the traditional family household into the realm of civil rights and child protective service laws, we have now created a generation of not only physically neglected children, over protected and spoiled, but a generation of emotionally and mentally neglected children.

So, who is really at fault when a child is found is a state of neglect? Is it the parent or a reaction to the trends of society? At the microlevel, of course, it is the parents, but at a macrolevel, some problems have to be attributed to the alternative changes in society. According to studies, the appropriate definition of child neglect is:

"Neglected Child" means a child less than 18 years of age whose physical, mental or emotional condition has been impaired or is in danger of becoming impaired as a result of the failure of the child's legal guardian to exercise a minimum degree of care in supplying the child with adequate food, clothing, shelter, or education or medical care. Neglect also occurs when the legal guardian fails to provide the child with proper supervision or guardianship by allowing the child to be harmed, or to be at risk of harm which includes when the guardian misuses drugs or alcohol him/herself.

Observable Indicators
· Dirty skin
· Offensive body odor
· Unwashed, uncombed hair
· Tattered, under or oversized and unclean clothing
· Dressed in clothing that is inappropriate to weather or situation
· Frequently left unsupervised or alone for periods of time (Note: This is the most frequent cause of child death and should not be minimized)

Indicators of Poor Health
· Drowsiness, easily fatigued
· Puffiness under the eyes
· Frequent untreated upper respiratory infections
· Itching, scratching, long existing skin eruptions
· Frequent diarrhea
· Bruises, lacerations or cuts that are infected
· Untreated illnesses
· Physical complaints not responded to by parent

Indicators of Malnutrition
· Begging for or stealing food
· Frequently hungry
· Rummaging through garbage pails for food
· Gorging self, eating in large gulps
· Hoarding food
· Obesity
· Overeating junk foods

Indicators in Infants and Toddlers
· Listlessness
· Poor responsiveness
· Does not often smile, cry, laugh, play, relate to others
· Lacks interest, curiosity
· Rocks, bangs head, sucks hair, thumb, finger,
· Tears at body
· Is overly self-stimulating, self-comforting
· Does not turn to parent for help or comfort
· Hospitalization for failure to thrive - regresses upon return to home
· Unduly over or under active for no apparent purpose

Indicators in Children
· Cries easily when hurt even slightly
· Comes to school without breakfast
· Has no lunch or lunch money
· Needs dental care, glasses
· Falls asleep in class
· Often seems in a fog or dream world
· Comes to school early, does not want to go home
· Sees self as failure
· Troublesome at school
· Does no homework, refuses to try
· Destroys completed written work
· Destroys books, assignments and learning aids or toys
· Is withdrawn, overactive, underactive and/or lethargic (depressed)
· Is cruel to classmates
· Lies, steals from classmates, school
· Breaks objects or damages school property
· Frequently absent or late for school

Indicators with Parents and Family
· Promises but does not follow up on recommendations
· Fails to keep appointments and/or refuses help from school or other resources
· Abuses alcohol or other drugs
· Lifestyle of relative isolation from relatives, friends
· History of abuse or neglect as a child
· Disorganized, chaotic home life
· History of chronic illness
· Gives impression of resignation and feeling that nothing makes much difference anyway
· Failure to provide supervision of children (This is the most frequent cause of child death and should not be minimized)

NOTE Again, any one of these indicators could be attributable to a specific life event or other trauma. A pattern of behavior is the strongest indicator of abuse and should not be ignored.

Be careful that racist school administrators do not apply any of these to your child (being Black). They will attempt this as an effort of malice.

Though parents should be held responsible for the well being of their children, children are exposed to many other influences that cause them to display or acquire some of the above traits of neglect. For instance, when children go to schools that are under funded or poorly managed, they may begin to display sign of restlessness, frustration and bitterness toward classmates and teachers.

The cases of the school shootings during the late 90s are indicators that society has an influence on the emotional and mental neglect of our children. Though experts sought hard to place blame on the parents, and it was the only logical explanation from the eyes of many other people, the kids who turned to violence to express their frustrations were children who came from prominent families.

This means that a child can be cared for properly financially and never has to exhibit the signs of outright neglect, but they are suffering inside emotionally and mentally, which merits a form of neglect culturally. Children are a product of their environment and whether that environment is a dysfunctional family and home life, or a public institution that has pushed non-traditional values and ideas into their heads, the child will show outward signs of neglect in one form or another.

We must realize that the best care for a child is a healthy environment in and out of the home. This means that the schools they attend reflect the values of the family. It means that the surrounding community should provide a safe haven for the children, which calls for lawmakers and legislation for safe streets and programs that will encourage our children instead of threaten them with confinement.

We have turned into punishers instead of teachers and encouragers. We debate as to whether or not to send a child to the electric chair instead of looking deep into that child's mind to see if there is anything that could be changed or preserved preferably life instead of an early death. We should think again about who actually neglect our children.

Is it the current trends, is it the parents? Or is it the fact that we use our children as an excuse to fulfill our own agendas, politically, economically, and selfishly so. If it is all "for the children," then let us make sure we as adults know what is best for the next generation and not what is the next best definition for another politically correct trend.

© 2004 by AfroStaff