The phenomenon of the soul mate is deeper than what people think. Having a soul mate does not mean sharing your life with someone who has more than normal similar interest and habits as you, such as liking to read, write, and take walks in the park. No. Having a soul mate is a very delicate experience.

First, there is truth to the soul mate theory. Two people can come together and never part and never have a desire for anyone else. They can meet at young ages, get married, have children, grow and die together without ever straying from one another. Not to say that there will never be problems, trials and tribulations.

When two people are placed together by destiny, God, or whatever force one believes brought them together (minus eHarmony.com and other match-making websites), there is a moment of hesitation from both, simply as a matter of confirmation or assurance. Once all the walls of relationship defense have been broken through, which does not take long in a destined relationship, and assurance is confirmed, the couple know for sure in their hearts the other is for them.

The catch? Once two people are thrown together as one, one person becomes a model for the other. In other words, whoever you are, your strengths and weaknesses play a vital role in developing the other person. For simplicity, it is like raising a child.

If you are a good parent, loving and dedicated, your child will become a reflection of you. However, if you are neglectful and inconsiderate, the child becomes that product of your weakness also. For instance, two people can be made for one another and live in poverty and vise-versa. Regardless of their financial or social situation, the two will stay together through it all.

If the strengths of one come into line with the weakness of the other, there is a balance and the two level out as one person. Also, if the two balance each other and excel, they can grow prosperous and vise versa, they can fall downward.

The ways you treat yourself is the way you will treat your mate and they will become accustom to that treatment and incorporate it into their daily life. Thus the soul mate phenomenon is a sensitive experience. There can never be an imbalance in a soul mate relationship, such as one loving the other and not getting the same level of love in return. It will always balance.

The struggles of soul mates come from those outside of the relationship who see the connection and become jealous of it as they watch their relationships fall one by one over time and yours stand strong. The soul mate couple will withstand many relationships of friends and will withstand much persecution from them. Jealousy being the underlying force.

Unconditional love constantly grows and trials only bind it to make it stronger and never succeed in destroying that love. Growing older together means going through periods of life learning about one another, the self, and life around you and taking that knowledge and unconsciencously moving on.

Lastly, the most fascinating thing about having a soul mate is that once you meet that person you cannot imagine how you lived before them or how you could ever live without them.

© August 2005 by CR Hamilton