The going mindset among couples that live together is to experience a "try-out" period before actually getting married. That way if the relationship does not work then both can go their separate ways without any legal obligations.

Because free-sexual lifestyles have increased in American society marriage has lost its appeal though not its sacredness; meaning people would rather not be married while they are cheating on their live-in spouse. If they cheat while married, however, they would feel too much like an adulterer rather than a fornicator.

Cohabitation is nothing more than a safety net for people who anticipate something better. Whether waiting on a career opportunity or the person of his or her dreams, the truth is, anyone who cohabitates wants to leave a backdoor open in the relationship just in case that other opportunity comes along. One thing is for sure in any cohabitating relationship; mutual love is not a factor.

If mutual love is there then the couple would get married knowing that there is nothing or no one that could distract them away from their loved one. Contrary even to the marriage vows that marriage is for life, it is not the institute of marriage itself that is for life, but love; love is for life. Marriages crumble and wither away like the paper it is made on, but love stands through all.

Half the time, however, couples do decide to get married. Whether or not love is the underlying reason is left unanswered but even after an attempt at marriage the rate of divorce among couples that have lived together before they marry is twice the rate of divorce among those who have not lived together before marriage. This implies that people who get married first have a better idea of what it is they want out of life.

Further more, not only is cohabitating a phony attempt at a relationship it is a poor social and economic choice. Recent survey data show that among the cohabitating couples that ever get married, if they have children and break up - which results in a single parent family - those children are six times more likely to live in poverty than are children in married families.

In addition to the drama this situation brings into each of their lives (including a child), couples experience extra stress, higher chances of another failed relationship, and added economic hardships; ones that may have been left unattended during the relationship. But many people continue to believe that the "try-out" theory works.

Out of 8000 women between 20 and 29 years old, 37% of them have cohabitated with a man. The stats are 20% higher for men because men are typically the ones expecting something better and are the first to severe the relationship. In respects to race, 15 percent of white women out of the 8000 lived with a man before marriage while 7 percent of black women did.

But this is not all. Many people shack, leave, shack again and get married then divorced, and shack again. Of these 5% of recent shackies', 3 percent of white women cohabitate after their first marriage while 1% of black women do. Though race is irrelevant in such a study, gender says a lot because the percentage of men who re-shack is double that of women. This conclusion confirms why there are no eligible, datable, or marriable men around for the large percentage of women in the United States.

The bottom-line is that cohabitating is a bad choice of lifestyle for anyone. For a woman, man, and any children involved. Children are most affected by cohabitation especially if they are brought into the living arrangement from another arrangement, and even worst from another cohabitating arrangement or a broken marriage. Yet all this is a result of a society that has learned to dishonor marriage to replace it with that of the free-sexual lifestyle.

© 2003 by Cartel Q