If you are in or just beginning a relationship with someone you care about, whether a spouse, casual relationship, or even a friend or family member, here are seven (7) ways to keep that relationship strong.

1. (And the most important one) Keep people out of your business.

Many times when we are attempting to establish a serious relationship, not necessarily an intimate one but a work or friendship, other influences such as jealous people and old friends carrying vendettas against you or the other person tend to make it more difficult to bond.

Because it is not proper to totally dismiss someone out of your life, it is better to simply distance people and deal with them with a long-handle spoon. The less people there are involved in a relationship, the better. Though it is impossible to distance people you work with, it is possible to establish an understanding between you and the other person involved as to who are the potential ones that will attempt to drive a wedge between you and them.

2. Start off with a clean slate.

Do not begin a relationship in the middle of a lie. In other words, be as honest as possible when allowing people into your life. There should be no surprises in the future that could disrupt the relationship. And continue the honesty throughout the relationship.

3. Communicate about everything.

Communication is very, very important. This means that both should discuss whatever concerns them about the relationship, whether positive or negative. The other should always be open to listen also. A line of communication does not only involve being able to talk to one another about anything within reason, but the ability for the other to listen and want to listen; to be concerned about the other and what concerns they have.

4. Never get possessive

Possessiveness is a major breach in a relationship, regardless of what kind of relationship. Acting as though the other person "belongs" to you is not acceptable. What would it look like if you were jealous of other co-workers in the office because you feel the boss belongs to you?

In an intimate relationship, possessiveness leads to verbal and then possibly physical abuse. If the victim of possessiveness begins to feel crowded or threatened, they will react accordingly, which does nothing more than escalate the anxiety of the possessor.

5. Never assume control

Some people who are insecure with themselves search for weaknesses in the other person in order to supplement the weaknesses in themselves. Exploiting and manipulating the other person may fill an empty void in you and may work for awhile, but eventually, the other person will catch on (if they haven't already) and feel taken advantage of.

If you are the one feeling manipulated, the best thing to do is address the issue with your other right away, but in a reasonable way. First, gain control of your feelings before diving head first into what could end up and argument. To resolve the issue for good, address the issue with your own self to strengthen whatever weakness was exploited.

6. Never leave doubt.

Leaving people second guessing or playing minds game with someone who cares about your is a cruel thing to do. For example, a spouse leaves the impression with their other that there is someone else interested in them. This opens a door that is very hard to shut. If you leave doubt in another's mind, that person could end up withholding emotions, affections, or respect from you, which opens a void in the relationship right away.

7. Let not money be a factor.

We know that "the love of money is the root of all evil." If money becomes a weapon in a relationship, then rethink your priorities. Something that many people do not realize is that, money is always available to come by but good friendships and relationships are not.

People sometimes believe that another's feelings are expendable and that the world revolves around money, so they take for granted the other's feelings and ideas. Be it loaning, borrowing, or spending, allowing money to dictate a relationship is dangerous, so let money be an almost absent factor.

© 2003 by Cartel Q