What's on the mind of a player? First let's define "Player." A player is someone single who dates more than one person at a time. By dating we mean a short to long-term personal commitment, intimate relations, and sometimes cohabitated living arrangements. A person cannot be a player if they are 1) married 2) not having sexual relations with at least two or more of the people they are dating, and 3) having feelings for either of the people they are dating.

If a supposed player has feelings for either of the people they are dating, then they are not actually a player, but a cheater. Players have total control of their feelings that's why they can date more than one person successfully. If they lose control of their feelings and give in to any form of deep-seated emotion such as love or jealousy, they lose their ability to manipulate, because by the laws of human nature, a person can either act on emotion or intellect, but not both. It takes intellect to be a player and emotions can never be involved.

See, a player has suppressed all emotion for some reason or another, be it some past bad experience or because of shear skill and desire to. They constantly have to have control over their emotions in order for them to remain in control of the game. This takes constant thought. This also means that they can recognize what factors play in drawing out their emotions so they have learned ways to avoid or get around those factors.

Factors such as too much time spent together, which could lead to moments of caring; too much physical contact, which could lead to sexual addiction (or being whipped), and holiday season or special occasion gift-giving, which could lead to regular expectations from the other person and a form of commitment. Also, players avoid too many family gatherings and other social functions that require them to make appearances causing the social circle of their dates to expect them at every occasion.

On the flip side, players avoid conflict with competition. If the date has someone else competing for his or her affection, a player will not show any real concern. They may act as though they care, but they really do not because they have to overcome the emotion of jealousy to stay in control. Also, kids and players do not mix. Again any show of interest or concern for the date's children is sheer phoniness.

Thus using the mind, the player retains all power of relationship manipulation. If they can make the other believe that they really care, which takes the skill of deception or really good acting (which is a professional form of deception) they can extend this practice to as many other people they choose. Dividing time, maintaining emotional restraint, and good planning and strategy, players can date up to 10 people while having sexual relations with as many as seven to 8 of them if not all.

Another well thought-out practice of an authentic player is the ability to keep an effective rate of exchange over time. In other words, the player knows when to let one relationship drop off while nursing another to perfection. And during times of seasonal or annual transition, a player can maintain a constant stable of well-nourished candidates for potential and or future relationships. Managing time and emotional stability is key.

The problem with players, however, is they are emotionally killing themselves. When and if the chance of love comes along, they will not recognize it in the least. By that time, they will have suppressed their emotions so deeply and are now dependant such on intellect that they will only see another opportunity, not the real thing. The problem comes when they think they have found the real thing.

Because they have no knowledge of what true emotion is, they will have a distorted idea as to what real love is. So when they believe they have found real love and decide to open up emotionally, there will be little there in the form of true emotion. And nine times out of 10, the person they have given themselves over to will be a player themselves.

© 2003 by Cartel Q