According to today's women [black women], there are certain signs that should raise a red flag when being involved with men of the world. Below is a list of things women suggests other women should beware of before getting involved with a man [a black man]. Afterward, Afromerica brings forth what we feel people should know about true love, instead of the shallowness of the following list:

Out of 25 women surveyed

Never date a man who…

• takes longer to get dressed then you do
• you catch in a big lie
• doesn't have a job
• doesn't have a sense of humor
• doesn't like your closest friends
• says he loves you but doesn't show it
• can't communicate
• has no future goals
• doesn't respect, or have a good relationship with his mother or sister(s)
• drinks to much
• smokes too much weed
• can't keep a job
• doesn't know how to share
• who still lives with his parents
• have suspicions about his fidelity
• is living with a female
• that carries a bag of his undergarments, clothes, in his trunk
• that trips when asking questions about his suspicious behavior
• always complaining about how hard his life is
• wit missing teeth
• wit crooked teeth
• wit gold teeth
• wit the money to fix his teeth....but doesn't
• sneezes without covering his nose and mouth
• keeps forgetting your name

Being in love [true love] is an intensifying experience for each facet of one's tri-being: And expressing that love comes relatively easy if the person on the receiving end knows what to expect. However, in today's loveless society, knowing what to expect has become blurred in many eyes and hearts, as you can see from the above list.

What you would do if you love me? According to high maintenance people, if you love me you would:

Women

1. pay my rent and/or bills
2. get my hair and nails done (because you should care how I look)
3. buy me flowers, cards, and candy on occasions
4. take me out around your friends
5. take me out to eat, see a movie, and dancing
6. impress me with exciting outings
7. meet and respect my parents

Men

1. look good at all times
2. get my clothes from the cleaners
3. agree with everything I say
4. let me handle my business
5. be there when I need you
6. have your own bank account
7. appreciate the money I make

High maintenance people base their expectations of love on what society portrays as proved love. They have no real idea of what true love is capable of expressing so they have to rely on what society dictates, on television, love stories, and magazines. On the other hand, the low-maintenance, or discrete person, has a very different perspective of love. The discrete person says if you love me, you would:

Women

1. spend time with me
2. take me out occasionally
3. tell me you love me
4. tell me I still look good
5. remember our special dates, places, and songs
6. marry me
7. take care of our children

Men

1. not care how much money I make
2. not flirt with my friends
3. let me hang with my friends
4. let me watch the game
5. cook and clean the house
6. never take my kids from me
7. forgive me when I lie

The above expectations are based solely on hear se and peer group gossip. Though these people are not difficult to please, they are more susceptible to outside influences when interpreting what love is. They are also the people who experience more breakups and disappointing relationships than any others do because they rely on the trends of other people's relationships than the power of real love.

Both scenarios are common in today's society yet both leave little room for what true love is supposed to offer. True love expects no frills, perks, or extremities but rolls out naturally bringing a level of comfort and security both partners can embrace. There is no pressure in love and it never has to be proven. In a relationship between a man and woman whom love one another, the depths of love are expressed as so, if you love me, you would:

1. Always tell me you do because it's the way you feel not because you are forced to or for occasion
2. want me around you even if neither of us say anything
3. make sure I'm safe, secure and happy
4. not measure my love by the price tag
5. know I am the best thing for you
6. tolerate my flaws and ignore my stupidity
7. look forward to our old age

True love should never be measured by social trends, statistics, or against other people's relationships, but by the tri-being of both partners. Love is not suppose to be a structured design or manufactured agreement, but should shape the people involved; in fact, love can never be structured: And has a power its own that no society can control. Therefore, if one loves another, they would know this.

© 2004 by Cartel Q