Depending on whether or not you were in love and whether or not you are married should determine your reaction. For instance, if you and your spouse have been married for a number of years and they cheat, you have a legal and moral right to be shocked and highly pissed. But if you are not married, first, legalities are not in your corner, and morally, you were in the wrong from the get.

First, we will address the unmarried scenario then the married one. Regardless of if you were in love or not, if you and your other were not married and they cheated then first of all, shock is not an option for you so just get over it. If you loved that person shock may play a part but if love was a factor, you should have been married. The other can easily say that they did not love you from the beginning and had no real duty to commit to a monogamous relationship.

Second, if you were married and your spouse cheated, you do NOT have the legal or moral right to run them down in the family SUV, but you do have the legal and moral right to damages. Needless to say, love is a factor in this scenario because you were married. However, if the marriage was not based on love, then you are actually in the first boat. Though legally you are justified, morally you should just get over it.

See, love has a lot to do with how you react and how the rest of your life will turn out. It could hurt deeply if someone you truly love and devoted yourself to found comfort in someone else's kitchen and living room. Time heals the hurt but in the meantime what do you do? Your friends (the spiteful ones) remind you of your now ex and they wickedly throw their relationships in your face. Distance yourself from that kind of negativity. Your family reaches out to comfort you but some of them also had their secret spells floating around your relationship. You don not need that either.

When you have found your other cheating, the best thing to do is turn the other way for good. Never, ever, allow them to return to your life because they never truly loved you from the get and they will probably never change. Despite any and all psychological, psychoanalysis, or therapeutic advice, books and experts in the field there are, which attempt to help restore what was lost or help heal the wounds, the only sure fire way to avoid the situation all together is to, in this order:

(This is a down-to-earth, old school, from-the-hood solution)

Before the relationship

1. Make sure it is love from the start, if not, do not take it serious
2. Get married if you both love each other
3. Stay faithful to them first so you cannot be blamed

After they cheat

1. Do not go to jail for a cheater
2. Let them go and do not look back or give second chances
3. Rebuild your life first before dating again

Life is about living, not dating. First priority is to take care of you and let the past go. Once you have your life together then you can begin again to think clearly as to what the rest of life holds for you. There could be something waiting for you out there, a career, a hobby, even a dream. Love is important in life but when love has abandoned you, put love on hold and turn to life.

© 2003 by Cartel Q