It has become common knowledge that a child needs a father or father figure in his or her life. Without one, many children grow lacking certain characteristics within their personality that would otherwise allow them to relate to certain people in certain ways.

For example, young girls who grow without a father tend to be attracted to the masculinity in young men their age, who are many times young men who lead a thuggish life, yet they reject the young men who display more discipline about themselves. Because they grow without a male figure 24/7 in their lives, they lack the knowledge of how to relate to a man in his normal character. Same difference with young men who grow without a father.

These young men lack certain masculine characteristics in a disciplined way and instead express that masculinity in aggressive ways. They do this because this is what they learn from society's male/female stereotypes. The core characteristics of men and women are of a natural type and should be rooted in each; such as young men growing disciplined enough to take responsibility for their actions.

All too often, young men and women lack structure of the family and therefore adapt a distorted view of responsibility. For instance, a young woman would grow to see her mother working twice as hard to provide for her and her siblings, if any, and she comes to expect this when she grows up. She has no knowledge of the fact that a man can do the same and should, thus she does not learn to expect that from a man.

A young man, on the other hand, grow to see his mother doing the same and would expect any and all women afterward to have the same capabilities as mom. This limits his knowledge as to what his total responsibilities are supposed to be. If he has no view of a man doing what his mother has done, he will not take that responsibility as serious as he could.

Many would disagree with this analysis because many people have grown in similar situations and came away with knowledge of their roles as husbands, wives, mothers and fathers, however, with the rise in divorce rates and STD's, there is reason to believe that the structure of the family is not working because the roles are not being fulfilled correctly.

According to recent studies from the CDC, the stats below show that the birth rate among girls ages 10-14 have dropped to its lowest level since 1946. This is a positive development, however, it does not speak on the development of the family among young women and men.

"The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said the number of births among girls in this age group dropped 38 percent from 1994 to 2002 alone, even though the number of girls 10 to 14 climbed 16 percent during the same period.

The birth rate among girls this young has been declining since 1994, when 12,901 babies were born to mother's ages 10 to 14.

In 2002, the most recent year with complete data, there were 7,315 babies born to this age group, a birth rate of 0.7 live births per 1,000 females - about the same rate nearly 60 years ago.

The birth rate dropped among all racial groups, but it was still higher for black and Hispanic girls than for white and Asian ones. In 2002, the birth rate for black girls was 1.9 live births per 1,000 girls, and for non-Hispanic white girls it was 0.2 live births per 1,000 girls (ATLANTA (AP)"

Though the study attributes the decline to the efforts of parents and young girls, it neglects to mention other variables such as the rise in STDs that would act as a deterrent to sex. Other deterrents are abortion, the rise in use of birth control pills and contraceptives, and the simple fact that women are choosing to bare children at an older age and are teaching their daughters to do the same.

For the above reasons, young girls are not having babies as fast as they use to and young men are taking more responsibility where it pertains to safe sex, in other words, they use condoms more and make sure the girls are on birth control. However, young men and women are not withdrawing from sex more, and when mistakes do happen, the couple have no plans or intentions for family life.

It is easy to enforce upon a young woman the importance of birth control because she is the guardian of her virginity, but teaching young men responsibility is something different. The many young single Black women who have sons have to take a different approach but they do not know the way.

For a single Black woman to correctly raise a son, they should instill into their young men that the responsibility of a man is one that cannot be taken lightly. They must not transfer their anger toward men to their son because that son will develop a self-esteem problem and turn it toward the women he meets.

Black women should not invite men into their homes that will not last past the next two weeks or one that has not taken responsibility for his own family, if any. She should set an example for her son that reinforces to him that she believes in the power and union of marriage and that any government system that targets Black men and women should not be included into his life in the near future, such as the child support, welfare, or justice system.

Education and innovation should be taught to the young man and not the unrealistic goals of basketball superstarism, rapping, or any other million-to-one shot at fame that does not include the knowledge of cultural literacy. Young men must become secluded from the greater society in a way that he can learn and grow without the corruption at hand.

Other creative alternatives must be placed before his face so that he can stretch his mind in other directions and not become narrow minded. A mother can expose many different skills and hobbies to him that will open his mind to something other than the going trends of society.

Raising a man takes the mind of someone who knows what a man is. Society's definition of a man is distorted and far from reality, and this is what most young men grow to become. This man is the one who has fallen to the mercy of a wider feministic society and fulfills the stereotypes given to him by that society.

A real man can see through the corruption of society and live life, as a real man should. He will choose his wife based on love and not match-making; he has great desire to raise children and see those children through to their adulthood, and he understands that the woman who rears his children is in need of great respect, care, and love.

He can resist the temptations of seductress women because he values what he has at home. He knows that drugs, violence, and crime are only hindrances in his walk through this life and that there is an entire justice system waiting to enter his name into their database.

His Black mother knows the challenge awaiting her Black son and she does all she can to educate him on these things. She does not live a high maintenance life because she wants to teach her son that material things will bring more temptation but she teaches him that the basics of life are all he needs, as long as he maintains the basics for the duration of his life.

© 2005 by CR Hamilton