What use is baring and raising a child if the parent turns the child over to psychosomatic drugs such as Ritalin and Prozac? How can parents avoid the pain of seeing their child behind bars, homeless, prostituting, addicted to drugs, or even suffering from more emotional disorders such as anger, bitterness, hate, prejudice, or plain devoid of cultural literacy? Raise the child with character.

Child psychologists have convinced parents that developing a child mentally via intelligence is the parent's only way toward having a socially acceptable child. Trends toward classical music to talking mobiles, dolls, and books have crept their way into baby cribs in hopes of stimulating the child's electrodes, thus brining forth the next Einstein.

Because of society's rush to grow critical thinking skills and problem solving, experts have neglected the task of raising the normal child, one that possesses compassion, dignity, and self-respect, all needful for healthy social interaction.

A child is not a mental machine alone, though it is vital to stimulate the brain enough for comprehension. Children newly born are emotional machines instead. They need emotional stimulation, which develops the inner being of the soul necessary for satisfying the human need for love, acceptance, trust, ect.

When a child is crying uncontrollably, that child needs to be held and rocked and even sang to, not a motivational lecture on personal responsibility. When a child is angry and throws tantrums, that child needs firm handling at the moment, not Beethoven's 5th. When a child kicks the dog or cat - showing signs of abusive behavior - that child needs to realize that animals (and people for that matter) can feel, which appeals to the child's guilt.

A parent should yell back at a child when the child yells at them; this established humility and respect. A parent must appeal to a child's remorse when the child hits another, or lightly hit them back when the child hits the parent, this establishes compassion and respect. A parent must draw out self-reflection when the child does not want to share, by telling them exactly what they are doing wrong and what it is called, selfishness.

Shame must be taught. Children should know that their bodies are their own and not a public peepshow. Cover your eyes when they come from the bath. Make them aware of an authority figure such as God, the police or other, to assure them that bad behavior does not go unpunished, which institutes a respect for authority.

These things are realities of life that work and are not unproven experiments based on some Yale student's theory and thesis. Relating to children in any manner, whether emotionally or intellectually, should be done as if the child were a small adult. They must be taught the ways of social interaction and the consequences of their actions just like we all learn as adults.

Cutesy tactics that pacify the child only underdevelops that child and they are bound for an unstable life both mentally and emotionally. Character builds through exercising the various emotions and directing the child toward the proper emotion for the moment.

One sure sign of intelligence in any person is the understanding of emotions by having the correct control over them. Only life experiences can teach a person to master the emotions and if they can master the emotions in themselves, they can better relate to others. This knowledge not only makes a wise soul, but imparts unto that person a strong character.

© July 2005 by CR Hamilton