Dating as a single parent can get stressful if your priorities are wrong. It involves a balance of splitting time and energy between being a single adult and a good parent. There are times when it can be very difficult to combine these areas because you still need some time alone, with friends and to date, but you do not want to feel like you are neglecting your child either. Single parents go through bad dates and broken hearts as other singles, but have the added complication and worries of considering the effects on the kids.

For instance, there is always a question of when it is appropriate to introduce your friend to your kids. Some say to wait until the relationship is solid so the kids don't get attached. Then if it doesn't work out, the children won't begin to feel everyone they get attached to will leave. You don't want the children to get hurt if it doesn't work out, or to think there is a revolving door that guys and girls come and go through in our lives, thus making the subject of sex more complex and guilt ridden.

Tips for the Dating Single Parent

1. Never keep your kids a secret! If he or she can't handle someone with children, then they are not the one for you.

2. If the date is just a "date" there is no reason to introduce your children. It's unnecessary to involve the kids at all unless it's been established this person is going to be in your lives.

3. It's probably not a good idea to show affection to your "date" around your children, until you're certain your "relationship" will be steady. This could cause anger and confusion in your kids.

4. If it's just a "date" do not let them spend the night. Seeing parents in bed in the morning with strange man or woman will send mixed signals and confuse your children. It also does not look good on you and sets the wrong example.

5. It doesn't always work to plan dates when the ex is expected to come over, especially if the ex is unreliable. We do not want to bring in all the "drama."

6. Do not get in the habit of making time for your kids; instead make time for everyone else. Kids need daily one on one! Try to schedule dates when kids are visiting a family member or other friends.

7. Meet your "date" for the first time in a public place. They may not be the kind of person who should know where you live!

8. Don't date someone who is uncomfortable with kids, but someone who is "willing to try." And watch for people who are working the kids to get the your heart.

9. Don't date someone who will add more problems to yours. This includes people who have drug/alcohol dependencies, have many kids from previous marriages that you will have to schedule around and compromise with, who have volatile ex spouses/friends or family, who are unemployed and have no money, are still married/going thru divorce.

10. Don't pick anyone with more emotional problems than you. You do not need another child (or problem). These situations will cause much anxiety and are a waste of time.

11. Don't forget your friends. Going out with friends is sometimes the best refresher because dating can cause a lot of stress. Invite friends over to your house instead of going out all the time.

12. Do get to know a person, either through a trusted mutual friend or with a few phone calls before you actually meet for your date.

13. Don't waste your time. If your date is unwilling to give up time alone with you or won't help you find solutions to daily challenges, then it means they are part of the problem.

14. Let your date meet your family and friends to be third party judges. They may be able to see something you don't.

15. Try not to date people from where you work. It just doesn't work. Everyone in the office will know all your business. If it doesn't work out, situations could be uncomfortable or even embarrassing for you and many of your co-workers.

16. Don't close your eyes! Some people come across really nice and seem to like your kids, but they "change" and start taking their anger, fears and frustration out on your kids. It may be subtle things that tear down their self-esteem or disappoint them, or it could be tremendously worse. Hopefully, you are not so wrapped up in your own dilemmas that you cannot see what is before your eyes.

17. Do say "NO!" Learn to say "no" when someone intrudes on your time too much. If you're too tired, stressed or whatever to go out, just say "no!" Be selfish with your time. Don't forget about yourself!

18. Do get to know a person as a friend before dating. You can learn a lot about them that way. This would include going to school functions, social activities of mutual friends, single parent church groups, etc.

19. Do meet people at places/events you enjoy. This is also the first hint you may have something in common.

20. Do take into consideration the way your children feel about a particular "friend." They might really like them and then again, they may see something that you don't.

21. Never date just for the sex, you don't know where this person has been or who with. Too many diseases are floating around these days to just have sex on the whim.

22. If you don't want to have your "date" at your home, rent a hotel/motel room! Try not to allow your date to sleep over every night and be there when the kids wake up. Remember your children's feelings should not be forgotten, but you have the right as a single adult to have a social life! Just be EXTRA careful. Your expectations have to change to fit your time. Maybe you can't go out every week, but once or twice a month is better than nothing. It's all a matter of how you look at it.

23. Practice Abstinence. This is a 100% effective way to find out whether or not this person really cares about you. It also helps deter any chances of contacting an STD. If the person "just gotta have it" then you don't need them.