Biblical values and tradition gave rise to the nuclear family; where there is a mother and a father rearing the children. In the traditional family, the father worked and provided for his wife and children and the mother stayed home to nurture the children. Not only was this lifestyle a traditional lifestyle, but a biblical concept. Though it will forever remain biblical, the tradition has subsided and a new liberal form of family lifestyle has made its way into mainstream society.

Single parent families are increasing, especially among women and particularly among black women. It is no surprise that single parent families are rising, simply because of the high divorce rates, however, though single parent families are high among white females, the rate among black females are staggering.

In 1998, 21 percent of white families were headed by females and 58 percent of black families were headed by females. Nevertheless, these stats are nothing new. The most disturbing point is that out of the two-income family bracket -where there is a father and a mother - 74 percent of white families are two-income and only 36 percent of black families are, while 64 percent of Hispanic families have two incomes. What does this say?

It says that there are more white families with both mother and father than there are black families. The leading factor among black families is the percentage rate among black female-headed households, which is nearly that of the two-income white family. Whereas, on the other hand, the leading factor among white families is the two-income family and the white female headed-household is the least as a factor. So, either there is a shortage of black men or the black male-female relationship is in danger.

First, we will speak to the theory of the black-male shortage. There is none. Black males are born everyday just like any other race-gender. (Most are in prisons). So, now we move on to theory two: the black male-female relationship being in danger. How do we speak to this issue? Why does it seem that there are more white families in tact than black ones? Could it be that black families divorce more?

According to some institutionally biased scientific data, that could be the answer. However, before we conclude that black families divorce more than whites or that there is a problem among the black male-female relationship, let us pose a theory that many relationship psychologists do not approach or that marriage sociologist cannot prove. Black women think that every woman (specifically wives and mothers) has a job.

Go into any grocery store in any suburban or rural area at 11 am to 2 pm on any given weekday and one will see the isles littered with white women doing weekly shopping for her family. Look around hard and long for black women and there will be none, maybe one. The black woman seem either to have forgotten there is such a thing as the traditional family or they do not believe in them. As the theory suggest, black women have little faith in the traditional family and suppose that all women work. Someone has neglected to tell them that it is ok for a woman to stay home and raise her children.

The saying in the black community is that "it takes two to make it;" (meaning it is an economical necessity), or that it is culturally correct for both parents to work because the traditional family no longer exist, which is not true. Many white women stay home with their children while their husbands work. Out of all the black families that have both a mother and a father, 1 percent of them practice the traditional family rule.

This fact is both sad and deceptive. Sad because black children need motherly love and attention now more than ever and deceptive because black families believe institutional studies that encourage families to allow daycares to raise their children, falsifying facts that say day care children are as normal as children with parents at home.

Local church and community leaders should be the ones teaching black families that it is not strange if a black woman chooses to stay home with her children. Needless to say, church and community leaders are caught in the same trap, because they are the main ones who practice two-income families so they have no knowledge of the rule. Therefore, there is no one to teach the traditional family rule so the black family will never learn this.

Many black families believe that it is necessary that both parents work just to stay ahead in this white regulated world, and this thinking has validity, but when a family must choose between sacrificing their family stability through biblical teaching, and supporting their family which is necessary for survival, it is no wonder many black families have two incomes.

In the struggle to stay economically alive in America, and to give their children a chance at a decent education to secure their futures, black families are sacrificing family stability. However, without a solid foundation of family morality, which consist of motherly love and attention and a father's strength and discipline, many black children's future are already at risk.

Turning to God for the strength to rear children today is essential because the institutional theories and studies about how to raise a child in today's society cannot be trusted. The real problem with black families is that they trust too much in what society dictates and too little in what the Bible encourages: So caught up in striving for the American dream that their families cannot matter any more.

© 2003 by C.R. Hamilton