Of course there have been many conversations about Internet dating, however, I would like to examine it in relation to the future state of the Black community. I recently looked at three Internet dating websites, an interracial dating site, Black Planet and then Match, the one advertised on Black America Web. I would like to discuss each site and what I gathered from these sights that allow the future Black family to appear bleak.

Black Planet is predominately a place where African Americans can meet other African Americans. On the surface, this doesn't seem to bad, right? Wrong! I discovered that Black male/female relationships are in worse shape than I could have imagined.

I had no idea that we had reached a place where women needed to include under the "What I Want in a Mate" section: A job, no baby mama drama, no down-low brothas, single men ONLY, and a man not a thug. Likewise, I found the following common on some men's personal pages: Drama Free, A woman, not a man that was a woman, not too many kids, independent, and not ghetto fabulous.

Now isn't this something. Black people, what is going on? When the most desirable thing in a Black woman is "Drama Free" and for Black men it is a job, we are in terrible shape. Of course I had to look at the people who posted these requests and wonder what they really meant. What does Drama free mean?

Does it mean that you can run around in the streets with other women and expect me not to say anything? However, of course it doesn't mean that for everyone. For some it really does mean that they don't want the woman who smells his genital area every time he comes home a minute past the time he said. There are traffic jams!

Now about the job thing, this was a VERY common request from the Sistas, in addition to his own place and not living at home with his mom. According to an article in Time Magazine last March, more and more Black women are graduating from college and being promoted in the work force.

With more Black men tied up in the criminal justice system than in higher education, it leaves most Black women educated and unwed. Currently, almost half (42%) of Black women between 30-34 yrs old are unwed, whereas with white women that number is only 10%. Why aren't there more pages on Black Planet asking for a long-term commitment or marriage and a family?

When I perused through the interracial website, I noticed that there were more Black men on the site than Black women. However, the majority of the Black women on the site were pretty, professional and held degrees. If many of our men are in jail/prison and exploring in the interracial world, where does that leave educated Sistas.

What ís more important to note is that the lower class, uneducated, Black women are continuing to have more children than the educated Black woman, so where does this put the next generation of Black children? What is happening to the Black Family? Where will it be?

Finally, after hearing the Match advertised on the Tom Joyner show and on Black America Web, I assumed that the Match was a site for Black on Black relationships. I was wrong, this was a site frequented by all people. Which is good on one hand and can be viewed negatively on the other.

I am not suggesting that Sistas wait on Black men, nor am I telling them to leave Black men, I am just wondering about the future of our Black male/female relationships with less and less Black men and Women being able to make a long term commitment; and more importantly what will happen to our little black children?

I encourage conversation, email me phyllisa_smith@hotmail.com

Author of "I Spilled the Secrets" found at www.ourworldpublications.com

© 2005 By Afromerica