Many Black organizations, churches, and individuals toss in two to 4 cents of opinion where it pertains to giving back to and improving the Black community. Advocates come from various walks of life; race, income and educational levels; however, besides donating money to a cause or paying dues to fund a Black charity, in what ways can these humanitarians actually trigger change.

Let us begin with the children, familyless children that is. "As of September 30, 2001, there were an estimated 542,000 children in foster care. Thirty-eight percent were Black; 37 percent were White; 17 percent were Hispanic; and 8 percent were other races/ethnic origins." If the family is the root of the community, then this is where we should start.

There should not be ONE Black child without a parent, not with all these Black organizations, church and political leaders claiming humanitarianism. Not one of their voices should be heard nor respected if they cannot open their home to a Black child who does not have a family. If they have the resources and wisdom to raise a proper Black child, that would be 250,960 more Black children on their way to success.

The concept is the equivalent to a person not complaining if they do not vote.

A conglomeration of Black organizations can construct a system that could give each foster child a home and eventually an adopted family. And the parents of the foster child (if available) could attend programs to help them retrieve their children. This is a plan that if implemented seriously with the help of sincere Black leaders, would work for the good of the Black community and its future.

With the claimed success of Blacks today, by reporting Black mediums, there are more than enough Blacks able to give a one or two children a loving home. And with all the degrees, the elitist Blacks claim to have obtained through "opportunity." There is no reason the parents of these foster children cannot be taught to be successful.

We cannot depend always on the programs of the government, we must take things into our own hands, at least this is what we hear from those claiming to be Black leaders. Therefore, let us start with an actual effort and foster or adopt a Black child. The children are no doubt our future, and you can help make that future promising.

Below is information about becoming a foster parent. In addition, there is a foster care agency in every state so there is NO excuse. Selfishness is the only obstacle standing in the way of that child's future of which selfishness is sown not on their part, but on the part of the able-bodied Black activist who looks down on the low-income Black community and their lifestyles. Here is your chance to do something.

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Becoming a Foster Parent
Ask and answer the following questions:

1. Do you have a strong support system of friends and/or family? This is important, as fostering can become very stressful at times. It is good to have someone who will listen, if you need to vent. If you don't have a support system already in place and go ahead with fostering, be sure to participate in support groups. Many agencies hold their own support group meetings if not consider starting your own with other foster parents.

2. Are you a patient person? Are you willing to continually give and very rarely get anything in return, except for the knowledge that you are helping a family?

3. Many people enter into foster care thinking that they are rescuing a poor child from an abusive parent. They believe the child will be grateful and relieved to be out of the situation. This is rarely the case. Abuse is all they know, the abusive parent is their only parent and what is a bad situation is that child's "normal". Be prepared for the child to be anything but happy about being in your home. In other words, examine your expectations. What are you expecting? Not only from the child, but from his or her parents, the state and the experience itself? High expectations can lead to a fall!

4. Aside from being neglected, know that these kids have sometimes been physically, sexually, mentally and emotionally abused. They can be angry, resentful and sad. They may take it out on their foster parents, usually the foster mother. Are you willing and able to deal with what they might put on you, and not take it personally?

5. Are you willing to have social workers in your home, sometimes every month? Can you work in a partnership with a team of professionals to help the child either get back home or to another permanent placement, such as adoption? This goal requires excellent communication skills on your part, and a commitment to follow the plan set forth by the social workers.

6. Can you say goodbye? Foster care is not a permanent arrangement. The children will move on someday. Permanency is what you want for them. However, you and your family will attach to this child, so don't fool yourself into thinking otherwise. Attachment is a good thing, for both you and the child. If the child can attach and trust you, they will be able to do the same with others in their lives and this leads to a healthier future. Goodbye does not have to mean for forever, either. In some cases, with permission from the birth parent or adopted parent, a relationship with your foster children can remain intact after a move. We have a relationship with a few of our past foster daughters and enjoy seeing them and receiving cards and phone calls. They even still ask us for advice.

7. If you have children of your own, how do they feel about doing foster care? It's important to consider every member of your family when thinking about fostering. Everyone in the house will be living and interacting with the foster child and his or her behaviors. Your children will have to share their home, room, toys, and parents. They sacrifice a lot in becoming part of a fostering family. Ask your children how they feel and listen! Also, be aware that your child may learn or pick up whatever the foster child knows, both the good and the bad. Are you prepared to stand guard at all times, making your home safe for all who live there?

8. What ages of children can you parent at this time? Consider the ages of your own children and where another child would fit into your family. Is a baby right for you? While you won't have to deal with foul language, you will have to give up sleep and basically "start over" if your children are grown. Or would a school age child work better where you won't have to worry about day care? Also, consider the sex of the child. These are choices that are all up to you as a foster parent. You will also be given choices on what behaviors that you feel you can and cannot parent at this time.

9. Finally, do you have a lot of love to give? Are you ready to bring a child their first birthday party? Can you help him or her decorate a first Christmas tree or carve a first pumpkin? Help them to see that families are a great place to grow up in and show them an excellent role model of healthy family relationships? Give them an opportunity to heal and grow?

If you can say "yes" to most of these questions, then call your state foster care representative. You have an excellent chance of being a wonderful foster parent!

© 2004 by AfroStaff