The "You know you ghetto when…" parody is getting old and is nothing more than stereotypical endorsement of the low-income Black community by elitist Blacks, which further degrades our character in this country. Therefore, Afromerica has proudly put together a list of attributes and characteristics that fit the lifestyles of the complete opposite of the ghettoite, the Uncle Tom, or Black intellectual, whichever came first. So here we go.

You know you an Uncle Tom when…

• You got a bit perturbed when you read the title of this article
• You are the only Black on your neighborhood housing committee
• You have dinner parties and no Blacks are there
• You shake your head in disgust when you past through the hood
• You hate to say the name Malcolm X
• You prefer perfect diction
• You send aid to Africa
• All your friends are white
• You laugh at racist jokes at the office
• Your picture of Jesus is a white guy
• You prefer a predominately white church
• You prefer a white doctor, lawyer, or accountant
• You receive Rush Limbaugh's newsletter
• Your kids sit in time out
• It is your week for the soccer practice carpool
• You decided to sell your Jazz and RnB CD collection on eBay
• You are the best man or brides maid at an all white wedding
• You have a monthly pest control contract
• You sometimes wish you were white
• You are ashamed of your family even if they are successful
• You defend the US Constitution
• You consider yourself to be patriotic
• You believe the police are there to serve and protect you
• People have to use your title first when referring to you
• You own golf clubs
• You vacation in Europe
• You have season tickets to the Opera
• You look forward to the Ice Capades
• Your only answer for the problems of Black America is for Blacks to get a job
• You do not like Mexicans, Jews, or Blacks
• You would just rather forget slavery ever happened
• You promote capitalism
• You use the term "Our Forefathers"
• You consider yourself a part of the Black elite socialite class
• You belong to a Greek letter organization or a Black secret society
• You were ashamed after Hurricane Katrina
• You are very offended now because 5 or more of the above apply to you

If you have an Uncle Tom characteristic to share, please feel free to do so. Or if you disagree, or feel this list is in error please make a comment.

© Mar 2007 by CR Hamilton