In the past article, I made suggestions I hoped would help these men grow to successful, viable people. Realizing there are reasons many have failed, or may still fall through the cracks.

First there must be a definite determination to deal with what may oppose anything you're trying to do. So willpower and wisdom has to work together. You must also be able to perceive what you're up against to know how to approach it. So I'll begin from here.

Being someone who's been there and done that, my suggestion for any black male leaving puberty is to be careful being pulled in by the movement in his pants, over the conditions he may end up facing, especially knowing many are often dealing with that probability.

It may be difficult, but there could be little chance to avoid the consequences. Kind of direct I guess, but could be the only way to get your attention.

As a black male you may face some opposition from the female, but more assuredly from other sources. But staring directly at you is the most fragile you could be facing is your neighborhood. See, if you can really tell who feels comfortable when they see you, compared to those who may seem frighten as you approached them, remember when you're making problems for them, those other elements aren't taking a break from what they are often doing.

Most important, if you do the right thing for or around your own people, they're more apt to support you. So having or improving on your [education] would have a way of bringing forth the perception to understand why it has to be a give and take situation.

Oddly, the bantering you may face from the female could be because of their presumption regarding your lack of potential. On the other hand, if you have a need to make-clear why they believe that about you, remind them it was segments of the establishment that prevented you and probably other black men, from having the chance to prove differently.

Maybe your argument could sway them a bit, but one thing you can be sure of, they will rarely be in combat in your favor, since they both have been in cahoots for decades. As you will also discover is similar, regarding the judge and your attorney if it should happen one day.

Since many things may be troubling for you, you are oblivious to the gender war at-hand. But for now you're free to fall on your face, since you have been labeled with black fathers and men who may not have got the concerns you're getting. But since you're getting it from almost everybody, you must avoid being swayed back to her side and think twice about the exploitive conditions that would entail long term responsibilities.

Of course you still can be receptive, since she may be sincere. But being more willing to bend, as most people feel isn't your best trait, you should still be cautious. As you try to balance your life and deal with her, it may be necessary to keep an eye on the shenanigans of her gender. For it may change her perception for why she should continue supporting you.

Oddly, it's often because she really doesn't know whose side she should be on. But above all, you must realize it is you who struggles with integrity, since you will defend their honor, even though many times the conditions may not warrant it.

Now that I've tried to warn you, I also hope most of it will stick clearly in your mind. But here are a few other things that are just as important.

If you haven't already done some time in jail, why would you want to look or act like someone who did? Your character, attitude, the way you dress and the gun under your jacket or shirt, would say you have a desire to be there or die trying.

I can assure you, regardless how minor your first offense, you will most likely continue going in and out for at least 20 years before you decide to stop. Unless you die as I already said, or commit a crime that would sentence you to that amount or more.

But looking at your chances mathematically, if you're 18, 19 or 20 years old, I can almost predict, you will have at least 50 years ahead of you to maybe make a million dollars or become the professional who would have the [potential] - there's that word again - to do great things.

Although I know this could be a touchy subject for some, but you've got to find you're father to talk with him. If he's absent, or you have to visit him unfortunately in that place, it's still necessary. Why you ask? Regardless of his failures and you probably seen, heard or been told about them, he still have life-long information you would need to keep from joining him inside. Although it may have taken him almost a life time to recognize it, his greatest asset is learning from his mistakes and that takes wisdom. Remember you are your father's son.

So without weighing your chances looking at today by comparing the times and circumstances when he was your age, it would surely be your first mistake avoiding his input. Hopefully none of this relates to your life. If not, there's no reason to not know this country is filled with black men who beat the odds.

Black Men Should Only Apply - Part I

© July 2007 By Thomas Duffy
Afromerica staff writer

Brother Thomas Duffy will be keeping the Black community updated on the most current Black expereinces effecting our lives. Visit regularly for new information that could help you overcome and make the best of your everyday experiences.

To subscribe to Duffy's column join the Afromerica email list to receive new information as it is updated. Or E-mail T Duffy at: tduffy870@msn.com or tomas@afromerica.com

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