As black people, we can sit back and reflect on the times we believe we were Kings and Queens, or realistically be concerned about the period in this country, where most wasn't sure if they were going to live long enough to grow up to wipe their brows and remember anything.

And if you're young and inquisitive, it may be necessary to flip through the pages of history books or listen to the stories of elders, which may explain why many felt that way. Nevertheless, none of it means anything, considering where we are now, especially as far as our relationships with each other are concerned.

Blacks who may have no real concern about their past and feeling those days are long gone, may ask, what's the rest of us complaining about? Especially if they're impressed with their circumstances. But they shouldn't forget that before the period where Africans became slaves, there was always someone defending the position of their oppressors.

Unfortunately, most ended up back with their people being scorned. To me, our lives is like renting a car instead of owning one, we never learned why it's important to maintain them.

Since some disregarded the most important part of themselves, in some ways, they had no information to recover, even after realizing it was necessary. So they never had a reason to desire anything that should have been obvious to protect themselves, short of knowing no one has found the contract written for us and ripped it up.

It should also explain why it's often expected for us to prove we are still performing within the parameters of the contract; otherwise, we'll be facing a recall [criticism] to show us how. Of course, this is all hypothetical, but remember, slavery is known to have binding rules, which often affect the oppressed, sometimes for generations.

But as the years past, my greatest concern is how my black brother's and sister's haven't learned the skills of self-reliance and can't get beyond their anger. Not towards me personally, but to the others who also see it and voice their feelings, not understanding why.

Those who ride the pendulum of prosperity may go through life not caring, regardless of their happy times the day after everything could suddenly fall at their feet. It's like telling a teenage kid who's ecstatic - because their satisfying their raging hormones - and warning them what's going to happen if they're not careful, which can sometimes change nothing.

Of course, I'm not suggesting we suddenly develop a great admiration for each other, because we sometimes have a reason to disagree. But it's about the way we fail to acknowledge each other, even though we may be standing near each other; or compliment the black woman who should show her appreciation by her smile, instead of hurrying away. Is this important? Of course it is, because this is the normal way most other people relate and sometimes discover they have a lot in common.

If we continue not to talk to each other, we will also continue to disperse ourselves in ways that is similar to the wilder-beast being chased by the lion. No matter how many of us are standing around, we may only chose to save ourselves, and for those who already positioned themselves on the horizon watching us be devoured.

The old feelings about them being "Uncle Toms" or "Sell outs" will also continue to be exclusive to the black idiom. But I've said this more times than I care to remember. For some reason, when some are able to accomplish anything, they automatically feel they have nothing more in common with other blacks.

The reason why I named my column on Afromerica, "The Open Mind", was not to use black history to show the racial transgressions against blacks, or give us a reason to hate, complain, or raise our fists. It was to show our shortcomings from many directions where some of us may never have thought about.

Hopefully, it would develop an awareness to encourage stronger feelings towards each other. Maybe it would keep the worse coming from our critics, affecting us with other things. But some blacks are still trying to make us believe we can let down our guards because things have changed drastically.

The consensus from some is, there may be some racism, but less restrained opportunity for blacks. But there's more lazy blacks complaining about the few whites who may be racists. I'd like to know what the numbers of racists would be. But I know what it feels like, after retiring, to be terminated from a menial job because I allegedly "just can't cut it".

Although I have the education and work experience superior to those who supervised me, so I don't have to ask whites these questions. But I'll ask a black person. What other non-white group would make a statement like this. What other non-white group show these kinds of contempt for their own as often as blacks seem to show towards theirs. Nevertheless, not to wear this out, I'll finally ask, what other non-white groups are suddenly in combat mode because of politics, when both parties will most likely short changed them again.

This may be my same old complaint, but hopefully, someone will understand my concerns. Whites may have become more tolerant and willing to let us share in some of the same things they're privy to, but it takes awareness to know there are other's who occasionally recant the old feelings, and are in a better position to make things work in their favor.

Now that that's out of the way, I'll tell you what this is really all about. The old network that once brought our awareness is no longer accessible to those who need it. It has left many blacks isolated, confused to where vague instances of anger is inflicted upon the innocent. Since many blacks still live in areas [labeled ghettos], for decades, many have attempted to leave it behind as soon as they're financially able. But also, adding to this unwarranted stigma, these communities are areas of despair and tyranny.

Of course, events, along with facts and statistics, have revealed they have serious flaws. However, the things that would lessen some of the worse things continuing to happen within these communities is simple, although it would take a love and a desire to recapture it.

The confused demeanor and negative character of some blacks, which few understand have left its mark, because few realize it's related to the energy it takes to adjust to the lifestyles of others. Most non-white groups live and perform within the framework of their culture. But they also have a distinct way of networking.

Although most blacks have no solid information where they came from, or what tribe they belonged to, they're mode of living was innate and evident during early slavery and continued many years after. Regardless if it was the market place, church or someone's porch, these were meeting places where some of the most intimate political and social problems were talked about.

But today, where some blacks have shown they have a burning desire to break away from the same, there being a lack of this, blacks have developed a dislike for their own, where even moving on have caused them to not reach out or desire to know the black person living next door.

Although, Europeans are not known to socialize the same, unless they're from the lower strata of the society. The early settlers and immigrants success was based on this type of socialization. You just have to look back at the old Jewish, Italian and Irish communities to see it. From Native American's to Africa and Asia, it was the place of gathering that encouraged the relationship of those people.

For blacks it was the Sunday dinners and sanctioned barbeques and not to leave out, just old hanging out on the corner, or rent parties to help those in need. It was the ingredient that brought blacks together. Regardless if it was for happy times or times of grief. Nevertheless, our new divisive ways adding the disappearance of blacks from the communities who could have make a difference, have allowed some of the worse to manipulate and chastise those remaining.

The message coming from them is usually detrimental because the messengers are often young, bitter, tainted and uninformed. So was this a lesson on socialization? No, but it should be a lesson to show what was strong and positive for us that we have chosen to abandon.

So I conclude, the reason why certain blacks lack the information to persevere, they also lack the wisdom of [Older Blacks], who experienced many of the things they have or will certainly face. So, when they see each other today, they feel they have a reason to be cautious, remembering the circumstances resulting from accepting the wrong information. Their reason for avoiding each other is that they're already convinced the only interest other blacks have in them is for alternative reasons, nothing more.

Unfortunately, black women being labeled bitches and black men called dogs, will often support those feelings for some.

© 2004 By Thomas Duffy
Afromerica staff writer

Brother Thomas Duffy will be keeping the Black community updated on the most current Black expereinces effecting our lives. Visit regularly for new information that could help you overcome and make the best of your everyday experiences.

To subscribe to Duffy's column join the Afromerica email list to receive new information as it is updated. Or E-mail T Duffy at: tduffy870@msn.com or tomas@afromerica.com

Submit an article
Join the Mailing List
Join a Discussion

Afromerica: Where its all Black & white and some gray areas.

[TOP]     [BACK TO COLUMN]