Once I asked my father for financial help to have a root canal done. His response was "I had help, I should have kept it."

Even though he did give me the money, I understood that he is "Old School" and believes that a woman should stick a marriage out, no matter what the circumstances. ("Tina should have stayed with Ike." a quote from James Brown).

Struggling on my own for the last decade with a son was difficult, sometimes I got a little child support, but most times I did not.

My response to my father was, I'm not coming home to fussing and fighting, arguing and bickering (I wanted to say, I'd had enough of that growing up.)

Some people who tolerate drama have a need for drama. I spent much time trying to figure out why, while being, I think, a really cool person, some guys choose to be with a woman that was serving them up drama. (I know some guys will say the same.) People are in relationships to get "needs" met, hence, there's the answer.

Me, if I want drama I go to Blockbuster or Hollywood.

Peace may be something all of us really want, except for warlords and warriors without honor. But does peace equal loneliness? Some can be lonely even if they are married or in a relationship. Peace can only be found within, if one goes looking for it in any other place but your own heart, you will be eventually disappointed. Summarizing this philosophy, then, happiness, joy, fulfillment, etc., too are not found in the world around you, you bring it to the world from within yourself.

"If there's no enemy within, then there's no enemy without." African proverb, (or my enemy is my inner me).

There is nothing wrong with companionship, that's probably why many people have pets. Thank God for dogs, cats, birds, some people find their friendship with them more rewarding than with people.

Sometimes I wonder if it were not for sex or money, would a lot of people be with each other. Some would rather endure the drama than to go "without".

I feel each should do a lot of soul searching to determine just why they are in relationships, some answers are relatively easy, fear of being alone, security and the like. So they stay even though they may not be happy and continue in "affairs", and in this new millennium not like in the old days, affairs can give you AIDS.

Do I like occasionally being lonely, Nope! Would I rather have a mate, yep!

But as the saying goes, being lonely does not equate with being alone, for we are never alone. Mediation, prayer and yoga will reveal that to you.

The empty space inside of us can only be filled with "The One Most High". When we grow up and stop ripping and running to one person after the next, spreading AIDS, breaking up families, keeping up drama in our home, we would have learned to live from our higher and not from our lower chakras and we will indeed have heaven on earth, for The Christ said "Heaven is within you". So seek it within and bring it without and we will have it here and now.

As for us who live alone, write me, let's share, cause I'm thinking of starting a 12 Step Self Help Program called "F'd" Up Anonymous. I can see it now, "Hello, I'm Lee and I'm "F'd" up.

E. Lee Sullivan is a freelance writer, self-published/marketed author and poet living in Atlanta, Georgia, write her at leesullivan2004@yahoo.com

© November 2005 By Afromerica

Ms. E. Lee Sullivan will be keeping the Black community updated on the most current social issues effecting our lives. Visit regularly for new information that could help you pursue a more positive lifestyle.

To subscribe to Lee's column join the Afromerica email list to receive new information as it is updated. Or E-mail E. Lee at: leesullivan2004@yahoo.com

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