In doing your own personal analysis of your self-image, there are certain keys or signals to look for:

1. Putting the blame on someone else.
By putting the blame for your own circumstances and situation on someone else, you avoid taking responsibility for what you have really done to yourself. If you do not take responsibility for your condition, you cannot change it, nor can you grow through it.

That which you cannot grow through, you will go through again and again.

2. Running away from your problems.
When you are confronted with a problem or challenge, how do you respond? Generally, you can do one of four things: Flee It, Fight It, Forget It, or Face It. It is only when you face your problems and challenges and consider them projects to be completed, that you grow stronger in faith and self-confidence. As your faith and confidence grows, your ability to handle greater problems and challenges improves.

3. Criticizing other people constantly.
Why do you criticize other people constantly? Is your criticism constructive and motivated by true care, concern and desire to help? Or, is it based on envy, jealousy, and thoughts of inferiority? If your criticism is not positive based on love, respect, and a sincere desire to help and improve another person then it is not constructive criticism and it does harm not only to the other person, but also to your own self-image.

4. Waiting for someone else to solve your problems/challenges.
When you wait for someone else to solve your problems and challenges, you neutralize your own possibilities for learning and growing through experience. What keeps you from taking action when a problem or challenge presents itself? Is it fear of failure that you won t do the right things? Or is it fear of success that contradicts how you really feel about yourself? Whether it is the fear of failure or fear of success, it doesn t matter since the result is the same procrastination, inaction, and ultimately, failure.

5. Pretending that everything is OK.
When you pretend that everything is alright, actively ignoring your problems and challenges, you subconsciously accept the consequences that will surely result from your inaction. You deceive yourself into thinking that there is no need for change or improvement, and develop a false sense of complacency. You eliminate virtually all possibility for personal growth and development. The nature of problems and challenges is that if they continue unresolved, they only get worse.

© 2004 LifeSkill Institute, Inc.

Based on The Twelve Universal Laws of Success, Second Edition, Expanded, ISBN 0-9748362-1-4 a new book by Herbert Harris, available at Amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, or through the LifeSkill Institute, Inc. Call (800) 570-4009 to order books. Get your FREE copy of "Twelve Affirmations to Live By" poster by E-mail to: lifeskill@earthlink.net

Brother Herbert Harris will be keeping the Black community updated on thoughts for success and how we can succeed in our lives. Visit regularly for new information that could help you overcome and make the best of your everyday experiences.

To subscribe to Harris' column join the Afromerica email list to receive new information as it is updated. Or E-mail H Harris at: lifeskill@earthlink.net

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